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Arwen_Evenstar
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Name: Carolyn
Birthday: 6/27/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: Doctor Who, Torchwood, Broadway, piano, singing, writing, shiny things, Judaism, coffee, rainbows
Expertise: Totally useless trivia about Doctor Who.
Occupation: Student/Oompa Loompa
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
1/12/2003
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| Ok, so it's been 9 months since I last posted. I suck at this.
Things could NOT be more different than they were then.
The girl I talked about in my last entry...that definitely didn't work out. I never actually met her in real life. She'd been saying for two years "Oh, I can't wait to meet you!" and making all kinds of plans with me...and I was so hopeful and excited...and then...I don't really know what happened. Never got much of an explanation. She started running hot and cold on me, got a boyfriend, and eventually I'd just had enough. I think I was just a lot crazier about her than she was about me. I was the one initiating all the contact, you know? I IMed her first, texted her first, she never called me back...and well, as much as I adored her, I just didn't want to put up with that.
So that didn't happen. My love life has been nonexistent since then. I have the biggest crush on a girl in my choir class -- I asked her out back in March, but she said no because she wasn't ready to acknowledge that she liked girls. But we've stayed friends, even though I turn completely stupid every time I talk to her. She's so beautiful, I can't even put it into words.
Nathan ditched me. I mean like, legit ditched me. We hadn't been close for a while, and one day I asked him why. He told me he had stopped caring about me -- just had no feelings for me at all, romantic or otherwise. Said he was disgusted by me and saw me as weak. Whatever. His loss.
I'm going to college. Some school was actually naive enough to accept me! My dream school, no less! I'll be attending Oberlin, which is where my brother and my mom went. I just got my financial aid estimate, and they're giving me $46,000 out of $48,000. Which is fucking sweet. And it's all in grants -- no being drowned in debt! It seems too good to be true. I'm waiting for something to go wrong.
I've been absent and late a lot this year, mostly because I'm too depressed to get up in the mornings. And the school says I'm losing credit for the year and have to do summer school. But that's not happening, I'm going to get out of it.
I'm so much stronger than I used to be. Fuck anyone who doesn't appreciate me for who I am, or who doesn't treat me how I want to be treated.
I'm totally obsessed with Doctor Who. Like really. My sister introduced it to me pretty soon after Chuck and I broke up, and probably part of the reason I fell so in love with it is because I needed an outlet for all my emotion...it's easier for me to focus on something fictional when I'm in pain. So call me a loser if you must, but it's what I love.
My sister is about to pop another baby out. She and I are seeing Eddie Izzard on Monday, and I'm kind of afraid she'll laugh so hard the baby will come out.
Well, I'm off to enjoy a few precious hours of sleep.
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| I have someone who may become my girlfriend.
We're both quite crazy about each other.
We've been very affectionate with each other for the duration of our friendship, but apparently neither of us thought the other was taking it seriously. I've had a crush on her since day 1, but I figured she saw us as just friends. Turns out she felt the same way.
So now it's out in the open that we want to be together. To the point where this guy she liked actually asked her out...and she thought about me...and turned him down.
The only problem is that she lives out in Lansdale, which is 2 train rides away from me. But it's like that doesn't even matter to me. I'd make that trip every day for her. But I know she might see it as an obstacle.
All the same, my heart is jumping in my chest the way it always is after we talk. I'm giddy and dizzy and my god I just want to be with her so much.
I'll wish on every eyelash and star for her........
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| <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-02.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Casey, JT and Kelsey on the jetty down in ummm...Cape May, I believe.
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-06.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Beautiful Kelsey on the boardwalk (down by the boardwalk, under the bay...wait, that's not right)
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-07.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
JT is tall so this is at a funny angle :P
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-08.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Pretty ferris wheel!
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-09.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Casey and Kelsey, I can't remember where this is.
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-10.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Casey on the boardwalk. ("What do you mean the boardwalk ends here???")
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-11.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
Kelsey in the car.
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-03.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
AWWW!!!
A good half of my pictures didn't turn out. Fucking Walgreens. I do not understand. So now I'm relying on JT and Casey uploading their pictures...hint hint...I want to have as many memories as possible of this trip. Because these friends, in JT's words, have "put something on my face that Chuck never could...
<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/OriginOfLove42/Friends%20etc/7-12-2007-01.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>
...a smile."
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| So I just spent 3 days down the shore in Sea Isle with Casey, JT and Kelsey.
It was far and away the best vacation I've ever had. I'm seriously depressed now that I'm home and with my family. Everything is just driving me insane and my brain keeps whining "I wanna go back to the beach!!"
It's so ironic. Chuck always painted JT and Kelsey to be the enemy, the bad guys, the mean ones.
Look at me now. The boy I thought I would love forever betrayed me and hurt me so badly. And the "bad guys" have become two of my closest friends in the world.
At one point over the weekend, I found myself thinking how amazing Kelsey is and how stupid Chuck was to have done anything to let her slip through his fingers.
But if she had stayed with him, she never would have been with JT, one of the best people I've ever met. And then I wouldn't have dated Chuck and so wouldn't have met Kelsey or JT.
So despite the pain it's all caused me, it led to me making two amazing friends for whom I would go to the ends of the earth.
WHADDAYA LOOKING AT, PAT?!
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| 1. Would you chew gum after somebody else already has?
Only if I was dating the other person.
2. What describes your relationship status?
Incredibly lonely?
3. Who was your last call from?
Nathan
4. Are you a heart-breaker or heart broken?
Heartbroken
5. Ever been skinny-dipping?
Not yet
6. Earrings or necklace?
Earrings
7. Who have you talked to most today?
Probably Nathan or my mom.
8. Pumpkin...
Pies?
9. Friend of the opposite sex that's closest to you?
Nathan
10. Color of your shirt?
Black
11. How many years have you taken a language?
5 (hurray for Latin)
12. Who is speed dial 2?
I don't have my speed dial set up yet.
13. What is your background on your computer main screen?
A pretty collage of Alan Cumming (who is also my background on this site)
14. Have you ever wished on 11:11 PM?
Definitely
15. Good advice if you ever go camping?
Bug spray? I don't do camping.
16. Are you a bad influence?
Yes -_-
17. What color are your eyes?
Brown
18. Would you rather have your name or your sibling’s?
I kinda like mine better.
19. Would you do anything for someone?
depends on who that person is
20.what is your favorite color?
Purple
22. Do you make smiley faces on the computer?
Probably too much. :D
23. What song is on?
I have "Cold As You" by Taylor Swift stuck in my head.
26. Would you date anyone of your friends?
Hell yes.
27. Does your best friend have a MySpace?
I have a few "best friends." The only one who doesn't have a Myspace is Julia.
28. What website did you last visit?
Myspace. 29. Last time you went out to lunch?
Last week with JT and Kelsey! ^^
30. Do you watch Gilmore Girls?
Now that it's over, I have nothing to live for ;_;
31. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
Buh?
32. Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?
Boo. Lame.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears CDs?
Nah.
34. Which radio stations are your favorites?
I don't listen to the radio. Lisa usually has B101 on in her car and they play some things I like.
35. Are you a Lost fanatic?
Yes, but I'm not caught up; I just started watching the 2nd season.
Nah.
40. King of the Hill?
I used to watch it. Kinda hate it.
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
No
43. Do you sing in the car?
Once in a blue moon.
44. Do you ever sing in the shower when no one is around?
Yeah except usually someone is around.
45. Have you ever watched a little kid's show?
I probably enjoy them a lot more than little kids do. I definitely beg my nephew to watch Sesame Street with me.
46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they
weren't?
Probably.
47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary?
What a bizarre question. I think I drew a picture OF him once.
48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn't ask her/him out because you were afraid?
Yeah >.>
50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but a certain person?
Probably not, my mind wanders easily.
51. Have you ever liked someone because of their appearance?
I might be attracted to just their appearance, but I've never had a serious crush on someone who was pretty, but a total asshole.
52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
Haha not at all. I eat the bottom and the top of the food pyramid.
53. Are you a freak about cleanliness and organization?
In some areas. <------loves to organize books and CDs.
55. Do you know how to knit?
Yeah, I've been meaning to get back to that scarf...
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them on MySpace?
I write poems a lot, I've posted one or two on my Myspace blog.
58. Do you keep a diary or journal online?
you are reading it...durhur. I also have Myspace and Livejournal.
59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color?
Closet?! Oh...that thing where my fancy clothes live. Black I guess?
60: Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?
Yes.
61. Physics or chemistry?
AAAAAAAAAAH! *runs screaming in the other direction* Chem, I guess 
62. Earphones or headphones?
Earphones.
63. Pink or teal?
Pink
64. Earrings or rings?
rings
65. Commitment or casual dating?
commitment
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?
UHH Lord of the Rings duh!!
67. Fly or road trip?
ROAD TRIP
68. Starbucks?
Trying to get a job there.
69. Favorite Disney movie?
Beauty and the Beast.
70. Have you ever bought clothing at Sears?
God I hope not.
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